Halloween 101| How to Survive

If you are a fragile hearted little pumpkin like me, then this time of year can be kind of scary...
People are harder to deal with than books, surprisingly. Throughout my years of hiding out behind curtains, waiting for the little masked horrors (people are calling them children?? BUT THEN WHY DO THEY HAVE PLASTIC MACHETES) to knock and bring news of their reign of terror, I have learned how to emerge from the drapery and SURVIVE.

So for no reason at all, welcome to Halloween 101.

Also known as the perfect excuse to dress up like Batman and run around town stealing children's candy. I have become the master of last minute costumes. I will depart some of my wisdom on you. You're welcome...
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#1 - Dress in red and black, carry around a plastic axe, and voila, Modern Day Queen of Hearts. It also helps if you attempt to behead others, and you get to yell a lot.

#2 - Find a white onesie and wear a paper crown, and BAM, instant Max from Where the Wild Things Are. For the rest of the evening, you can steal food, sit on the floor, and act like a wild thing... #fierce

#3 - Wear all green, wear "nerd" glasses, and a green beanie, and boOM, Hipster Peter Pan. It helps if you have a dagger and run around telling people they're looking old...

trick or treating.
If you are out trick-or-treating with your chosen bodyguard, the best way to avoid any human contact or interaction is to dart from bush to bush, waiting for the first group of children to leave, and then darting in to grab the candy before the next wave of people descends.

If you are staying home to disperse the candy, what are you doing with your life?? Take the candy, retreat to your room, and read whilst consuming all the Reeses you can fit in your mouth at one time.

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scary movies. 
When you and your friends (or you and your pet hamster) are sitting around on Halloween night, and one of you gets the bright idea to watch a scary movie, WHAT DOES YOUR FRIGHTENED LITTLE HEART DO? It panics. But no, hold up a moment, I have the answer. Pick a safe scary movie. Pick a movie that is just on the edge of "is-that-a-shadow-or-a-murderer" and "MOTHER-NEVER-LEAVE-ME-AND-NEVER-TURN-THE-LIGHTS-OUT".

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The Nightmare Before Christmas is bewildering and why is this a children's movie again?

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Coraline haunted my nightmares as a wee child. I mean, it still haunts my dreams, but it also did when I was a child...too.

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This is adorable/creepy-ish/hilarious/what even is this movie? It was a lot sweeter than I expected, but before it was sweet, it was creepy. Also, I promise that I did not even mean to have this be a Claymation Only party. Here is a live-action one.

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THIS IS THE BEST ZOMBIE MOVIE I HAVE EVER SEEN. It made me feel things. It made me feel many things. I would watch it even if it wasn't Halloween. In fact, I'll be right back. Totally unrelated...

haunted houses.
Just don't do it, man. Don't do haunted houses. My sister went through one, and she hid behind my brother the whole time, pushing him through. HAUNTED HOUSES ARE SKETCH. They are the perfect place to commit murder, though... Not that I'm condoning murder, but you know, if you're already planning on it, I have advice...

Do you have any tips on how to survive Halloween? Do you celebrate Halloween? If you do, how so? (and if not, you are missing out on candy corn, my friend, which is a crime)



  1. HAHA, the Queen Of Hearts costume XD. Also, YES to retreating and eating ALL the candy. That's what Halloween is for, right? XD

    ~ Savannah

    1. XD Thank you, thank you.
      And YES, go, live your dreams. :D

  2. Hahah! Oh Evangeline! You make me laugh ;) I am super excited about this halloween- mainly because this is technically my first halloween going all out dressing up! I am making my own costume this year.. I must see some of these halloween movies you posted- Paranorman sticks out to me the most.. I think you should add Hotel Transylvania on that list. :D I LOVE haunted forests!!! I've gone six times, not counting the times I walked through the haunted forest trails during the day. I promise, after you go once or twice, they no longer are scary- more humorous than anything else. In fact, we wet to our 2nd haunted forest of the season the other day- unfortunately, I wasn't scared at all which I was a bit disappointed about. I've decided next time I go, I am just going to act SUPER scared, that way the actors will 'attack' me. ;)

    1. That's awesome! Going all out is really fun. And yeah, Paranorman was fun. THOUGH YOU'RE SO RIGHT. I should have added Hotel Transylvania because THAT MOVIE IS GREAT.

      You are braver than I... I could not stand being so terrified. Though I do want to try a haunted corn maze someday. THAT would be fun.


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