Dear Pain, I mean, Behind the Glass.

I was inspired by A Writer's Faith to write a letter to my novel. It looked like fun, so why not? It is the 2 year anniversary of my very first completed draft of a book, and I thought that was cause for celebration. 

Dear BG (Behind the Glass), 
You are amazing, marvelous, magical, and perfect. I am pretty sure you have never committed a crime. Ever. 

Just kiddingyou have murdered my heart more times than I care to count. 

Can you believe it's been almost four years since I first started you? Back then, you were a mess. You were just a wisp of an idea: A girl jumping around her room, pretending to be a pirate captain, then a girl captured and stuck on a pirate ship. There was an oh-so-important, life altering plot twist thrown in there somewhere, and we were proud. Your title was The Mirror, and you were my masterpiece.

I still remember bringing Daddy in to read your first few, carefully typed chapters (which are now long gone, sorry about that.). He said that you were good, and I beamed.

All those late nights on that computer that barely worked... All of those mugs of tea spilled across the keyboard, and I was sure the computer would short, and I would lose you forever. Then finally, all of those late nights paid off, and I wrote the last two words.

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You must have been happy to be whole. I know I was happy you were. I remember being in kind of a daze after I finished your first draft. I couldn't believe that after years of pouring over this insane story that felt like a rip-off of Alice in Wonderland, I was left with an amazing novel that was everything I imagined it would be. 

In that moment, you changed me. Writing switched from a hobby to my career. Now it's all I ever want to do with my life, and you showed me that. You also showed me how much an idiot with an idea can accomplish.

For being such an amazing novel, you really have your drawbacks, too. DO YOU KNOW THE TEARS I HAVE SHED? The sleepless nights I have had? The people who have looked at me like I'm crazy just because I'm talking to myself about plot and storyline? How many restaurants I've been banned from because I built a miniature map from fries, ketchup packets, and half the tables?

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As my first novel, you were the hardest. I had no idea what to do, and that terrified me. But slowly I chipped away at this crazy world I had created, and then you were there, sparkling and waiting for me to stop laughing at my own genius.

You've taught me more about human nature and people than anything else I could have done. You have showed me things about myself that I didn't know were possible. I am a persevering, patient, writing master!

Two years dedicated to writing away at a hobby. Two years of crying, laughing, and banging my head against the keyboard, wishing that it would all just go away. Because of all those really difficult moments, I learned to press on. I learned that truly great writers are forged through fire. And that sucks because that means I have a lot of fire left ahead of me.

A lot of writers seem to complain about their novels, and believe me, could I complain, but I like to focus on the good things: Like the fact that I learned about myself, others, and God while writing you. Like the fact that you were my gateway into an addictive, amazing world of writers and friends that gave me feedback and compliments. Like the fact that I can't hike anywhere without thinking "If Sprig can walk across an entire country, you can trudge up this hill."

I learned to adore characters that were dark and tortured and tragic little porcupines.

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I'm a little scared for the day that we'll have to say goodbye and be done with you because your story is my favorite. I think it always will be. I know that someone's first novel always stays with them, but Alairia has been very special to me. Every once in awhile, I'll feel nostalgic and pull out your really bad first draft, and then I'll laugh at Old Me and Old You, because dang, we were awful.

I know we have a long road of editing and rejection and publishing? ahead of us, but if anyone can do it, we probably are not those people (but we might be one day).

So happy birthday, Pain, I mean, BG. You're kind of the best.
Your Supreme Overlord and Creator.


  1. This was such a fun post, Evangeline!
    'Love, Your Supreme Overlord and Creator' LOVE that XD. WE AUTHORS ROCK *fistbump*.

    ~ Savannah


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